I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
