I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
