This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
