2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
