i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
