Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
