It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
