And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
