why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
