i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
