16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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