is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
