Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
