i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
