all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
