The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
