she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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