I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
