Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
