so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
