scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
