My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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