rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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