So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
