Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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