i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
