Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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