We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
