I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
