how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i dont even know how to be here
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
