i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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