The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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