Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
