You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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