I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
