i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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