So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
