just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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