so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
