i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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