My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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