Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
