Dual....:-)
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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