i will never coherently bang her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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