Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
