Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
