your thong is hanging out like whoa
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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