There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
