Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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