Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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